Sunday, March 18, 2018

Temporary Separation


This is my mama.  On March 9, she went home to be with her Savior, Jesus Christ.  I titled this post, "Temporary Separation" because that's exactly what this is.  

"But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep. For this we declare to you by a word from the Lord, that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep.  For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord . . . " 1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 

It's hard to write this post so I think I'll just share the eulogy I gave at her Celebration of Life Service along with some of my favorite pictures of her.

I'm sure we all have memories of mom. Memories of her as a sister, as a neighbor or friend and for me as a mom.
Now those who knew mom knew some simple facts about her.


If I ask you her favorite color you would say ….. of course, PINK. Whether it was picking clothing, jewelry, flowers or furniture—we knew what she would pick. Even in recent years when her ability to communicate failed, she would still always point to the pink option!


Mom loved to laugh. Whether it was watching some dumb TV show or laughing by phone or in person with her sisters or neighbors or accusing someone of cheating at Uno, she loved a good laugh.

(Mom dressed for a Halloween costume party!)

She loved to eat. Enough said. She hated to cook though. When they invented hamburger helper she rejoiced.  And as each new version came out, we had them all.
Mom loved perfume. Even in recent years as we'd wheel through the mall, a stop at the perfume counter was a necessity to spray on as many different samples as possible.


She loved music. As a kid I remember from very early in the morning until late in the day,  Moody's radio station WCRF blared from a radio and later a stereo in the living room.   Most of you know how she loved the Gaithers. In recent years when she had lost most of her physical and mental abilities she would watch old reruns for hours marveling at how good everyone looked, even those who had long ago passed away.


Mom offered her I love you’s and hugs freely which is a treasure many don’t often get from their parent. She was generous with not only her immediate family but her brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews and grandchildren. She had a tender heart and hated to see any one in pain.

(Yes, that's me next to my mom on Easter Sunday. We always got new dresses, and white gloves. Dad always got mom and me a corsage to wear to church.)

Mom was a product of the 50's and good Hungarian upbringing that shaped many of her opinions about proper attire and homemaking. Now mom and I often butted heads because I didn’t share her penchant for things like jewelry, a clean house and ….. lipstick. My own husband and kids may remember her telling me to "Put on some lipstick…. You look dead." Before mom went to be with the Lord, I was talking to my daughter Sarah on the phone. We were reminiscing about mom when Sarah asked me, “Mom, are you wearing lipstick ??” Well mom, today I’m wearing lipstick in honor of you.

(I found this dress the other day still in her closet in pristine condition. It's a real treasure!)

Mom was clean. I mean REALLY clean. There was a set schedule for ironing days. (SHE ironed pillow cases. Mom, I DID iron mine for a FEW  weeks after I got married….). There were certain days for laundry, mopping floors, dusting and washing rugs. There was the spring and fall cleaning which entailed washing all the walls, baseboards, taking drapes to the cleaners and dusting the ceilings. You could always see out of HER windows.  You could safely eat off of her floors. When she came to visit I would apologize for the condition of MY house. She would shrug and say something about having little kids and being busy…. Then she’d say "Where's your Pledge?"

(Mom and dad were married for 63 years!)

As a young wife of, as she would say, “a tall, thin, good looking man”, I needed to fix myself up before he came home each day. I remember as a little girl seeing her go into her room just before dad came home where she would then powder her nose and yes, refresh that lipstick. To this day (most days) I “freshen up” before Matt comes home mom just like you did.


After my first date with Matt, she told me in so many words that he probably wouldn’t be back. 36 years later….and today he’s here to do your funeral. So you weren’t right about some things. But you were right on target about a lot of other things.

You were right that when teaching Sunday school, a snack for the kids is essential.

You were right that my husband is tall, thin and good looking.

You were right that once I had kids of my own I’d understand sacrifice.

(That's mom holding me)

You were right to set an example of reading the Bible. I remember every afternoon you would go into the spare room, sit in the rocker, take out your Bible and have your devotions. You loved the Lord. You accepted JESUS at the age of 28 with Pastor Simm. Because of this, you were confident that when your spirit left this body, you would be with your Savior Jesus Christ.


You were right that a mother's love is unconditional. I learned that from you. While we disagreed fiercely on much, I never doubted your love. 

(Holding our twin girls Sarah and Megan 26 years ago)

Even when you couldn’t often string two words together in recent months,  you would often shock me by ending our phone conversations with “I love you!”

(Mom with our son Aaron 29 years ago)

You were right about your faith in Jesus. You were right that because you placed your faith in him for salvation of sin as a young woman that today, you are dancing in heaven, with a perfectly clear, dementia-free mind and arthritis-free body.  So on what REALLY mattered, you were right.


 This last picture is one of my favorites: My "saucy" young mama with, as the caption on this photo read:  "Ruth and Sailor"!  We found several photos of mom and her sisters with "sailors" hahaha!

I opened this post with 1 Thessalonians 4:13-17 but left verse 18 for the end which says:

"Therefore encourage one another with these words."

I'm so thankful that I'll see mom again one day and it is indeed a TEMPORARY separation.

I love you mama.





17 comments:

  1. Oh Lauren this post make me cry then smile ,what a beautiful lady your mum was inside and out and what a lovely tribute you did for her,your mum is smiling down on you,thankyou for sharing your mum's story with us and my she RIP. Sending you big hugs my lovely friend xx

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  2. I'm so sorry for your lost, Lauren! Your mom was a wonderful, happy, Christian lady! I so enjoyed reading about her life. What a lovely tribute! Blessings to you and your family!

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  3. Oh, Lauren, there is just nothing like losing your Momma. My Mom died 9 years ago and it still hurts my heart. Praying for you as you make this huge adjustment. Big hugs to you!

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  4. What a lovely tribute to your mom. I am sorry for your loss. My mom passed on Christmas Day 2017 at the age of 92, so the pain is still raw for me as well. Sending prayers your way! Jane

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  5. What a beautiful post......your mom is smiling!!! Thank you for sharing and bringing back memories of our own dear moms.......

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  6. What a beautiful tribute to your mom, Lauren. I lost my sweet mother in 2010 and although we never stop missing them, it is just a temporary separation like you said...bittersweet...but only for a little while...until you are reunited where there's no more pain, no more dementia...no more sadness. But in the meantime, it will be hard so I'm sending my love and prayers to you as you face the difficult days ahead. Hugs to you, sweet friend.♥

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  7. What beautifully spoken words about your mother. I'm sure she would be honored. I'm so sorry for your loss. I lost my mom 14 years ago and knowing we will be reunited someday gets me through the sad days. I'll keep you in my prayers.

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  8. I'm so sorry. I know that has to be a great loss. Certainly your words are powerful and paint such a wonderful picture of her -- I think we can almost feel like we know her or at least have a wonderful sense of her. She looked lovely, too. No matter the circumstances, the heart is always a little heavier when we have to say goodbye. I send you wishes of peace and healing.

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  9. I'm so sorry to hear about your beloved mother, Lauren. This is a beautiful post in remembrance of her. How wonderful that she loved the color PINK. The pictures of her through the years are very special. Thinking of you during this time of sorrow and sending comfort and love your way.

    ~Sheri

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  10. I am so very sorry Lauren. Your words tell us how very special your Mom was and I know she will be missed tremendously. However, as you say, the separation is only temporary and that has to be some consolation.

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  11. Oh dear Lauren! I know how hard it must be for her to be gone on this earth now. Praying for you as you remember her and the things you've learned from her. Hugs!

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  12. Oh, what a loss of such a wonderful woman. Your tribute here is just perfect and shows what a fun and loving Mom you had. I am so sorry you will miss her but how wonderful when you see her again!

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  13. My deepest condolences for the loss of your mother, Lauren. Your eulogy was beautiful and I also enjoyed seeing the photos of your mom throughout the years.

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  14. Oh Lauren, that eulogy was soooooo beautiful. I laughed, I cried, and I went through every emotion, as if I was there with you, listening to you speak. I felt like I knew your mom, and I loved seeing all the pictures throughout the years. Thank you for honoring your mom the way that you did, and for sharing it with us. Yes, the separation is only temporary, and your dear mom is in eternal happiness. Love and God bless you.

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  15. Oh Lauren, I can barely type out the words to this comment due to the tears streaming down my face. Your mama was such a precious and beautiful lady...she sounds a lot like you...or you sound a lot like her {{smiles}}

    This was an incredible tribute to your dear mother and I simply love that you title it "Temporary Separation." So very, very true, my friend. You shall see your mama again and it will be with great rejoicing.

    Sending you lots of love, hugs, and prayers!

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  16. Oh, sweet friend!! How very precious and deeply moving! My heart surely goes out to you with so much compassion, and I just trust Jesus to hold you close during this difficult time. Praying much for you and sending hugs.

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  17. Bless your heart. What a beautiful tribute to your mama. I know you will meet again and until that time, I know she will live on in your heart and your memories. I am just home from a visit with my mom in KY and her 91st birthday was yesterday. I feel like every visit is precious. XO

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